If You Are Abusive….

You are not alone. Many people have a problem with violence, learned from childhood or supported by society. You can learn less dangerous and hurtful ways to express your anger.

It is a sign of strength and courage to ask for help.

You are responsible for your own behaviour. No one makes you act in a violent way. You have a choice.

Your violence will increase if you do not take steps to stop it. You may destroy your relationship or seriously hurt someone you care about.

Your feelings of insecurity will only get worse if you continue to act violently.

Blaming your problem on drugs, alcohol or stress is an excuse.

Apologizing after the abuse will not erase the problem.

Physical violence and threats of violence are crimes/criminal harassment.

Do not make assumptions about sexual activity. No means no whenever it is said.

To Avoid Abuse….

Be assertive/confident. Walk and act confidently, even if you don’t actually feel this way. Say what you mean.

Trust your instincts. Act immediately when you feel you are in danger. Get away from the dangerous situation as quickly as possible. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Determine your feelings about sex and sexual limits. You may have different limits at different times with different people, but you should know what you want or don’t want to do, before you are in a risk situation.

Communicate those limits. Saying yes to one form of sexual activity does not mean you can’t say no to another. This must be talked about because body language is confusing and mind-reading is impossible.

Be aware that your level of drug or alcohol consumption will influence your ability to make good decisions.

Socialize with people who share your values.

You are not to blame for someone else’s behaviour. You are only responsible for your own behaviour.

Abuse thrives in silence. Share your problem with a friend or ask for help from someone you trust who has the skills to help you