1991 our daughter Monica was brutally murdered by her ex-boyfriend.
Our family was suddenly thrust into a world of horror. Shock
and stunning disbelief enveloped us into a fog of unreality.
ached, as if beaten, while our minds veered erratically from
depression to hostility to denial.
The initial impact is very
hard to describe.
I felt isolated and cold in the days after Monica’s
death. The best way to describe it is that I was like a zombie.
That feeling has since been replaced by
the desire to prevent similar tragedies from occurring. We all
have choices in
this world and I
had the choice to fill the special place within my heart for
Monica with anger, hatred and revenge or fill that space
with love, awareness
and understanding. If I took the first route, hatred and revenge,
Adam would have another victim and I refused to let that happen.
began my choices journey by creating “Monica’s
several years later the story was created into a film by
the and has
since become the Film Boards best
entitled A Love That Kills.
The award winning documentary tells the story of our daughter
and identifies the warning
symptomatic to abusive relationships.
Today we at the Speers
Society have worked diligently to create an abuse prevention
program for youth that emphasizes respect
for young women and young men within any of their relationships.
Our abuse prevention program is entitled CHOICES
for Positive Youth Relationships.
The Choices program includes A Love That Kills and
an instructional guide which is linked to specific High
As a parent I feel that we must give our
children guidance, information, awareness and knowledge about
teach our children that abuse is not acceptable in any
sexual or social economic group in our society.
child has been abused you will likely be launched into unfamiliar
territory. This is a difficult and confusing
with many mixed
emotions for all concerned. You may have many questions
and may be uncertain where to turn for assistance and
that you are not alone. There is help for you and your
within your community. Police, Victim Services, Kids
Help Phone, Parents
Help Line, Psychology Association, Counselors and many
more resources for you to tap into.
My journey has
forced me to take roads that I did not want to take however
by walking along those roads I
and I would like to pass them onto you.
Listening, believing unconditionally,
and caring can make a huge difference in how this experience